yeeees i know its been over a year now since i actually blogged. shame on me....shame shame. I guess i just, got apathetic about it. I'm pretty sure i got apathetic about a lot of things. Blogging used to be something that i really enjoyed doing, but now I dont know many people who actually still do and I guess i've had trouble believing that i could write about anything that important anyway. In the past i've usually only blogged when something interesting has happened, or i had a funny story to tell. Its not that my life has been absent of those lately, but i've definitely lost some ability to reflect. But now, two major parts of my life have converged to cause me to once again put the pen to the paper...or at leat my hands on a keyboard. 1) I got a journal. Its been really great to be able to record a lot of my thoughts, inspirations, and discouragements on paper. I guess that throughout my life i've always viewed myself as the same person, but i'm pretty sure i've changed a lot since i started using this xanga, since i started seminary, college, high school or any other stage of my life. Think about this...We are organic, and our cells are constantly living and dying, replacing one another. Technically the mass of cells that i am now are NOT the mass of cells i was 10 years ago. EVERYTHING has been replaced, and the replacements have only taken the form of their predecessors. So what is it that makes us....us? There is not a single bit of us the same as when we were born, save perhaps a few synapses deep inside our brain, so what is it about the physical Josh Earls that makes him Josh Earls? Obviously, there is something unchanging in constant within us that makes us who we are, gives us value, and gives evidence of our creator. deep huh? But, the person i am IS changing. I believe that i've matured, perhaps only a little, but i have. and having a journal helps me see that, that i'm not just sittin on a merry-go-round goin in circles, but i'm actually headed in a direction and i'm becoming the man i believe that God wants me to be. And believe it or not, some of the things that i write in those journal entires are kind of interesting...and i'd like to share them with people, so perhaps i should do a little more blogging. the ugly truth is, this may be the only one. I think i should find something other than xanga, very few of my friends even use it any more. The second reason i've decided to make this entry: pure boredome. The summertime blues have hit me like a kamikaze bug on the window of life. I wasn't ready for it, and when i try to get rid of it the thing only makes an ugly smear on my windshield. Summer has always been pretty depressing to me. I remember the first summer i had back home after my first year in college, i thought i was going to go OUT OF MY MIND. I remember sittin in my room staring at the ceiling and praying to God that H. G. Wells would swoop through with his time machine and just drop me off at fall semester. But, its hit again, this boredome, and this time i'm gonna give it a swift kick in the pants. I've read so much that my eyes will still scan the room in front of me as if letters are written on the wall. This country boy needed some culture. I've also broke the bank and bought an xbox 360 in an effort to spearhead the big lazy monster. In some ways i've succeeded, i still have something to do at any given part of the day, but I've also taken to staying up WAY too early and sleeping way too late! Its not that i sleep any more than the next guy, its just that i do my sleeping when normal people are waking up going to work, and having lunch. So i still lack discipline....a lot of it. All that to say, that i have a lot to say. my brain has been going into overdrive lately, and I feel like its about time to put these thoughts on paper...or on a screen. I'm not sure xanga will be the proper medium to do that, so if anyone knows of a better way to blog...let me know | 
